*toot toot*

Forgive me dear blog readers, for you are about to read me toot my own horn *toot toot* and give myself a good ol' pep talk! :)

Happiness is having survived and persevered through a less than ideal situation that you didn't want to, but you did because you knew you should and you said you would. 

I don't even care if that didn't make sense, because it sums up how I feel.

I chose nursing because it seemed like a good idea at the time. I knew I had some of the basic qualifications covered (people skills, half a brain, steady hands, etc). I wanted to go to school, nursing was easy to get into and the bonus was it being a job that pays decently well and is needed. It was a decision of the brain, not of the heart, and I have paid dearly in a sense of self. I quickly discovered in my first year of school how much this was not for me, but I had moved across the world to do this, brought my soon to be husband with me, and set up a life plan based on it. So I couldn't quit, I had already sacrificed a year...which became two, then three... all with the thought in my head of "this is so not for me, I hate this job". I was holding out hope for finding a niche of it that suited me, only to find after each clinical training in different fields, that I really didn't like the general aspects of the entire profession. What a bummer!

But let me tell you how good it feels to have survived 11 weeks of nursing at an old folk's home doing mostly basic care. One of the reasons I hate nursing so much, is because so much of nursing here in Finland in any institution or hospital, is basic care. And I did it for 11 consecutive weeks, hating mostly every day of it, but I did it anyway because I said I would. 

I couldn't be more proud of myself. I know that the road I want to be on as far as photography goes is not an easy one, but I am so wanting to have the same perseverance on it as I have shown myself in nursing. I am not business savvy, I kind of suck with money, and I'm really critical of all my photos. BUT, at least being behind a camera and seeing beautiful things everywhere I go, is something I am rather good at, and if you ask me, something I have developed at warp speed. Ultimately, everything else as far as I'm concerned is a necessary evil and something that can be learned. 

Regardless of how much putting yourself out there creatively sucks (talk about feeling vulnerable!), I want to persevere and be as be as proud of myself as I am today. This was an amazing hurdle in my opinion! 

 I'm looking forward to graduation in December with open eyes and a happy heart.

It's the final push that starts now, I've done well to come so far and see the end in sight. 

*pats self on back*

Plan A, turned Plan B.

Funny how life works.

:)

...apricots getting my color-loving juices flowing... tiny roses ("fairy") in a vase from the garden making my heart skip a beat...

Life is a good thing.

P.S. now accepting portrait practice sessions, friends. ;)